Viral Thought of Good

I normally write about my grief experience. I am still grieving, yet today my mind is filled with thoughts on this Pandemic. It has taken a space near my grief and thus, I need to write about it. Let me first say, there is nothing positive in illness and death, especially the ones we are […]

Chaos Surrounds Me

How I have loss control. By now, you know the story, my story. In nearly nine months, my husband dies, my mother dies and there’s a pandemic that keeps me in my house like the madwoman in the attic in Bronte’s Jane Eyre. At least the madwoman had Jane and Edward to eavesdrop on. My […]

Waterfalls Between the Walls

Life has been so unfair to us lately, hasn’t it? I mean, none of us want to be cabin fevered inside trying to protect from the virus lurking out there. It’s not how life is supposed to be, for any of us. We’re creatures of habits, of adventure, of the outdoors. Even if we’re couch […]

Trying to Shelf Grief Right Now

Since the Pandemic has come, I can no longer make my life about grief. I can no longer sit in a ‘whoa is me’ pity pit. I can no longer make it about me and myself. There is a bigger world out there, a world where we are all isolated, scared, curious, anxious, and trying […]

Mumzy, Go Gently into the Visit

“Come here for a second.” She crooked her arthritic finger at me, her eyes, once deep brown, now covered in grey cataracts looked up at me and said, “Pray to Peter and ask him how I can visit him in heaven.” And this morning, my mother, the woman I honored, hero-worshiped, respected, liked and loved […]

Little Worrier Existing Without Him

When I was young, my parents, my grandmother and my aunt, called me “My Little Worrier”.  They called me this for a reason. I worried. I worried all the time. I worried my parents were going to die. I worried one of my siblings was in trouble. I worried about my grades. I worried a […]

Letter to My Children

Dear Daughter and Son, I am so sorry. To the core of me, to my soul, I am sorry.  I am sorry you are living the rest of your lives without your father. I am sorry it happened so unexpectedly and without preparation. I am sorry for any and all struggles you had, are having, […]