A Mother’s Day Done

It wasn’t going to be a good day. I felt it from the minute I woke up with a pit in my stomach reminding me a shit day has begun. It didn’t help there was no sun out, only rain on a damp, cold morning matching the mood I was already in. It didn’t help […]

Honest Talk With My Self

I won’t lie to you. I’m not a liar, especially to you. You know me too well to even try. And well, here it is, what we’ve both been thinking. I know I am a one-dimensional person lately, dipping more into that dimension the longer the Pandemic goes on. I am a person angst about […]

Ten Months

This is a hard day. It’s a day I saw from the distance and thought, I can’t wait until. I couldn’t wait until my pain lessened and I could move without agony. I couldn’t wait until I started to live rather than survive, laugh more than cry. I couldn’t wait until the shock of it […]

Writing My Next Chapter with Barkley

He’ll never replace Peter. Not even close. He’ll never give me understanding or acknowledge my moods the way Peter did. He’ll be more dependent on me than Peter ever was in our relationship. He’ll make more mistakes under the guise “I didn’t know better”. He’ll hinder me from some freedoms. His manners are not the […]

Angry Growth

Growing pains are hard. They hurt and exhaust you and make you bitter. Growing pains makes you selfish and tune out others whom you normally would engage. Growing pains is part of grief. Growing during my grief has stretched my emotions to levels I have never felt before. The agony is inside my soul, a […]

Photographs and Memories

Why do these pictures weaken me? Why do they ignite in me the powerful dread that explodes in every place of me? Why do they rip up every part of my insides? Why does the small tear I always hold in my heart since you left, recklessly race down the rest of me? Why, when […]

It Came For Me Again

It came at me again tonight. It sneaked up on me like some unwanted slithering snake, sliding up on me until it wrapped around my soul to choke it. It was my own fault. I was growing complacent. I grew cocky in thinking it had lessened to a manageable existence. Besides, the world has turned […]