Struggling to Bloom in the Snow

This morning, I woke up to snow dusting over the grass and the flowers Spring teased with a week earlier. There was a daffodil forced to surrender as the snow held it down. When I saw it, I wept. Lately I have been feeling the pain of being held down by uncertainties, lack of direction […]

Familiar Grief

With the pandemic, people are throwing out the ‘grief’ word in the midst of their struggles, and I get it. Perhaps what we are going through is the closest many of them have gotten to grief. I get it. This pandemic is like grief and it’s what I understand, have understood, for a while now. […]

Within You

I sit in you, restricted by movements and visitors. With the plumbing and floors and cabinets and counter tops shouting for repairs, I spend my days, imprisoned by the world’s change. The memories are trapped within your newly painted walls and crowding me with smiles and tears. Boredom falls over me like a blanket and […]

When This All End, I Will…

We have all been living a life not really our own. We are living the way the pandemic mandates – in isolation, with restrictions, and feeling the worries of the world. The future is hard to even think about when our here and nows are so messed up and blend together as if we were […]

My Grief Doesn’t Belong

The other day, I posted on Facebook an image explaining the world doesn’t stop for my grief. And it doesn’t. And it shouldn’t. Especially in this time of a pandemic, my grief should not matter. And I hope it doesn’t to anyone, but me. There are a few good people in my life who have […]

In This Amount of Time, By Now

In this amount of time, I could have the house more ready to sell. In this amount of time, I could have written my third book and promoted the heck out of my second one. In this amount of time, I could have lost weight, gained it back, then lost it again. In this amount […]

Stuck Inside These Four Walls, Alone

So we are all in this together, right? No one is immune to the Pandemic, and it doesn’t discriminate. We are all locked up in our house, with some occasional walks and trips to mailboxes and grocery stores. Mostly though, we are, as Paul McCarthy sang, “stuck inside these four walls, sent inside forever”, or […]